4 Travel Tips for Martians Visiting the Earth
1. They Don’t Know We Exist.
Their narrow understanding of biology has left them with the impression that Mars is a lifeless, inhospitable planet. DO NOT mention that you are from Mars: they will think you are either joking or crazy. Besides, if they ever found out how nice it is up here, we’d be up to our third ears in them.
2. You Have to Pay for Things.
An economy of scarcity is very much in effect. By the way they shop and eat and pollute, you’d think they’d mastered basic replication and cloning, but they haven’t. Their chemical and genetic engineering technology is practically at 2nd Forhn Dynasty levels. You will need to acquire some sort of currency or credit before you arrive, and remember that you can’t just walk out of their markets and museums with anything you like under your arm.
3. You Have to Keep the Same Body You Arrive In.
This one is HARD to get used to. I know folks back home won’t believe you’ve been on a vacation unless you return wearing the body of one of the locals, but it’s really frowned upon. I have friends who have ended up in test tubes on airbases in American deserts for less. T-shirts will have to suffice.
4. Try the BBQ.
Thank me later.